Words matter. People matter.
I've always been an introvert. Growing up, I could easily spend hours alone in my room, building a model city out of poster board, or writing music on one of my many keyboards. At school I always had a few really good friends. But I truly cared for everyone, even holding deep conversations with the "class bully” in fourth grade. To me, this was just normal.
I viewed myself as an introvert, but didn't really have language to describe the energy it gave me to be alone. This is why I was so surprised when my dad called me and my brothers together for a conversation. He must have been going through some type of personality assessment at work, because this was the topic at hand. I will never forget what he said, as my much more outgoing brothers and me huddled around his La-Z-Boy recliner in the living room. "Kyle, out of the three of you, you are actually the biggest people-person."
What? How could this be? Me, the loner. The one spending every free moment in my room. The one that would sneak off for alone time when company was over. "Let me explain," he said. "You have a tremendous heart for people. You care so deeply about all people. That's special, and that's different than wanting to spend all your free time around others."
This would be a life changing perspective for anyone. It was a trajectory changing moment getting these words spoken over me as a kid. I learned two important lessons that day. First, words matter. A lot. I'm sure my dad had no idea what weight those words would carry, but it truly changed the perspective I had about myself. Yes, I'm a people-person. An introverted people-person. I recently told my dad about this moment and what it meant to me. It's what every dad wants to hear. "You had a positive impact on my life."
This would be a life changing perspective for anyone. It was a trajectory changing moment getting these words spoken over me as a kid.
Secondly, it changed my outlook on my leadership. I was one of those kids that was always looked to as the leader. Pick a leader in your group. Always me. I took leadership very seriously for some reason. Ok, so I was a bit of a dork. But why? Because people matter. A lot. As I've grown in my leadership over the decades, this has always been my approach. I'm not a leader because I want my ideas executed, or because I love the rush from the power of being in charge. Although I do think I bring great ideas to the table. It's a calling to serve others. That's what true leadership is.
I'm grateful my dad spent those few moments with us that day. At the time I didn't recognize the full impact of the moment. Looking back, I see that leadership in my dad. He cares for me, and deeply wanted me to know my value.
It's a calling to serve others. That's what true leadership is.
So here's the question for you:
What words are you speaking to those who have been entrusted to you?
Lead well. People matter.